


Romantic Russian Roulette

by CadetDru



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Bad Poetry, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Worms (The Magnus Archives), Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28235079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: Romantic Russian RouletteFive shots that Martin didn't take (opportunities that he gave up)And one that he did
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Kudos: 33





	1. Statement Fragments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin gave a statement, fresh out of his barricaded flat. The dead worms he'd brought to prove his story to Jon were still on the desk before him. For the first time Jon was not actively disdainful or disappointed. Martin talked and talked, words tumbling out of his mouth in a narrative fashion. The words came out so much more smoothly than when he'd been trying to write. Just talking to Jon was making him feel better.

It wasn't that there was even a shot to take. Martin hadn't particularly liked his boss in any sense prior to being trapped in his flat by one of their spooky cases. It wasn't like he'd spent the time pining after Jon, writing poetry about him. He'd worried that someone might come looking for him or that they might not. There wasn't any other potential seekers, besides Jon and Tim and Sasha. 

Martin gave a statement, fresh out of his barricaded flat. The dead worms he'd brought to prove his story to Jon were still on the desk before him. For the first time Jon was not actively disdainful or disappointed.Martin talked and talked, words tumbling out of his mouth in a narrative fashion. The words came out so much more smoothly than when he'd been trying to write. Just talking to Jon was making him feel better.

Jon believed him, which was more of a surprise than Jon trying to reach out to Martin while he'd been gone. Jon offered Martin his own bed, a spare one that Jon should not have had because normal people didn't need to sleep at work. Martin didn't want to somehow make it weirder. It was hardly the right time for him to try to explore a potential relationship.

On his own, he wasn’t fit to speak to, let alone form complex sentences like “I didn’t die and would like to take you out to dinner to celebrate.” He just made a mental note to approach Jon some day in the future, some point where things made more sense. They just weren't there yet.


	2. Ghosts and Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And just what did that tell him about Jon? Why was Martin a weak spot for him? That was another push towards Martin taking the opportunity while the window was open.

It wasn't a shot to take. They were under attack by Jane Prentiss (and it was about to get so much worse) but Jon and Martin were having a heart-to-heart moment.Martin had misjudged Jon so completely. Whatever feeling that Martin had been developing hardly seemed to apply. This new man was ridiculously ready to believe almost anything that Martin had to tell him.

It wasn't that he fell in love, just that his heart skipped a beat when Jon asked if he'd died.For that missed heartbeat, Martin thought his body was trying to prove Jon right.He wanted to keep Jon safe from the spooky and scary things in the world that could apparently use Martin against him.

And just what did that tell him about Jon? Why was Martin a weak spot for him? That was another push towards Martin taking the opportunity while the window was open.

Then the window closed, Martin outran Jon, and Jon got so hurt. The window slammed shut.All he could tell himself was that it hadn't ever been real.


	3. Stitches and sandwiches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon's story was that after he'd taken a statement, he'd cut himself while making a sandwich. He'd managed to cut his left thigh with a bread knife. Bread knives were serrated. Jon didn't seem to know that. He tried to convince Martin of this, no sandwich or even plate in sight, as he held pressure to his own leg.

It was absolutely not a shot to take. Martin had heard a shout from Jon's office, so he came to investigate. Jon was bleeding; there was a rip through his trouser leg, stained red with his blood. The explanation came in what seemed to be a characteristic stammer.

Jon's story was that after he'd taken a statement, he'd cut himself while making a sandwich. He'd managed to cut his left thigh with a bread knife. Bread knives were serrated.Jon didn't seem to know that. He tried to convince Martin of this, no sandwich or even plate in sight, as he held pressure to his own leg. 

Martin pretended to believe him long enough to make sure that Jon got proper medical attention. He didn't leave Jon's side, even as Jon was asked questions about feeling safe at home that he knew were not intended for a "partner" to be present for.He knew that he hadn't hurt Jon, but no one else did.Someone had to have done it. The medical staff didn't seem to think that Martin was that horrible of a "partner." They gave him small, understanding smiles.

It wasn't like Jon held his hand for strength and comfort. It was just that Martin was there. This wasn't another heart-to-heart moment.When they left, when Martin escorted Jon and his ruined trousers back up home, it still wasn't a good opportunity.


	4. Truth and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was absolutely not an opportunity to take: Jon was unhinged. It wasn't like he could be talked down at this point. He'd read the papers that Martin had left behind; he'd read the letter that Martin never sent his mother to have Jon knew that Martin was lying about something. Martin had to come clean about his CV.

It was absolutely not an opportunity to take: Jon was unhinged. It wasn't like he could be talked down at this point. He'd read the papers that Martin had left behind; he'd read the letter that Martin never sent his mother to have Jon knew that Martin was lying about something. Martin had to come clean about his CV.

Jon turned into the good cop for his own bad cop. The second that Martin confessed to this fairly big sin, then Jon was palpably relieved. The shift was more unsettling than anything else. Martin's feelings that he'd squelched down flared up again. 

Martin had left behind books of his poetry as well. If Jon had divined some hidden meaning, read too much or too little into Martin's work, he didn't admit it.That was added to the list of thoughts to keep Martin up at night.

Martin figured he could ask Jon out for a drink and he might even say yes.The power differential seemed to be shifting. It wouldn't be good for either of them, it wouldn't be right.Martin didn't think that he could seduce Jon into being sensible again. He wasn't going to try. 


	5. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inviting Jon out for a cup of coffee wouldn't work in a dozen different ways. It just wasn't in the cards for them. Down to the wire, to the grand plan for stopping the Unknowing, there wasn't even a chance for Martin to tell Jon how he felt. He could tell the tapes.

There was no one opportunity that Martin could take, no shot available.There was too much going on. Instead of being trapped inside together, Jon was gone, always gone somewhere. When he came back, he was busy or traumatized or busy being traumatized. Martin wanted to help him, wanted to do something concrete.

Inviting Jon out for a cup of coffee wouldn't work in a dozen different ways. It just wasn't in the cards for them.Down to the wire, to the grand plan for stopping the Unknowing, there wasn't even a chance for Martin to tell Jon how he felt.He could tell the tapes.

Despite everything, after Leitner's death Jon was actually unhinged and seemed a more emotionally steady person if only on the inside.Martin didn't get too much of a chance to interact with him at all.

There was too much on the line to derail things by distracting Jon with his (probably) unrequited affections.There was a slim chance that Jon felt something for Martin as well, which at the very least would require another heart-to-heart thatthey couldn't afford.They didn't have the time or energy to deal with the potential fallout.

After the Unknowing.Then he'd get his chance. 


	6. Shot Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin carefully considered his options.

There hadn't really been any opportunities to connect with Jon since he'd stopped being (dead) in a coma. Martin had flung himself into the Lonely but was fully preparing to throw himself back out when the moment was right.

Jon kept trying to take his own chances with Martin. Martin kept rejecting him for the greater good. Things had never lined up right for them.Going to Jon would just pull him out of the Lonely. While Jon was seeking him in the Lonely, he thought about the chances he'd not taken. When he followed Jon out, the list kept thudding away.

Jon was holding his hand and leading Martin home, wherever home was for him. That apparently meant Martin's own flat, which Jon had never been invited to. He wouldn't have even have been welcomed.

Martin had told Jon how he'd felt and Jon...implied it? Once they were in his flat, a different one than he'd ever been trapped in, he focused on the situation.

"I love you," Jon said squeezing Martin's hand."Did... I don't think I said... I don't think I've ever said."

Martin was so shocked to hear his own thoughts coming from Jon. Jon was saying things about missing a window of opportunity before the Unknowing. Jon was saying that he hoped Martin still felt something for him. Jon was saying so much.

Martin carefully considered his options.

Martin moved forward and carefully pressed his lips to Jon's to try and stem the flood of words.It worked for a moment before Jon pulled back to look at Martin again. Another kiss followed, initiated simultaneously.


End file.
